Well that was the shittiest practice ever.

I. Am. REALLY. Pissed. Off. At. My. Own. Body. Stop rebelling against me, dammit!!!!!!!!!!!! It's not like I'm the bit of the population that eats TOTAL CRAP every day and sits on my ass doing nothing!!!!!!!!! So act like I lead the healthy lifestyle I do!

Yes, I AM pretty damn frustrated. Couldn't you tell?

SooooOoOoOoOoO....



Dear body:

Knock. It. Off. Stop rebelling against me. Stop being sick and acting as though I treat you like shit. Stop refusing to run fast. Stop getting injured. Stop refusing to breathe properly when it's cold. Immune system, stop attacking harmless things like pollen while leaving stuff such as acne-causing bacteria to wreak havoc. Stop being tired when I've had plenty of sleep. Stop falling asleep at inoppurune times.


Stop being genetically screwed over.

Kthanx.


Love,
Cher

Three years and 4 days ago... I lost the closest thing to a father I never knew. It started when my mom and I first moved into the neighborhood... he heard a bit about us... and he helped us out quite a lot. It started as charity... but we became extremely close. He was a firefighter, a professor at Suffolk Selden, he worked for WLNG, he was the MC at the Riverhead Country Fair... just to name a few things.

He treated me like I imagine a father would treat a daughter... I could only imagine, because well... I never knew my father.

A little insight into the sort of person he was

I wish I were home... I'd post the biography on him I'd written for my 9th grade English class... which became his eulogy. My first-ever experience of having any of my writing put out to the public.... was his bio, at his funeral, 3 years ago today.

He never even got to find out the grand decision over which college I picked... or even my visit to what had been my top choice, the University of Rochester.


I want Al back... I miss him so badly... he was the only adult who ever made me comfortsable enough to confide in... the only adult who never judged me or put pressure on me... except where it was justly deserved.

The painful past

• The day I found out. I posted twice that day... and at the time of the first post, I had no idea... NO IDEA... what horrible news I would be in for within the hour.. literally.
  
• The next day Oh, I dealt with the same old bullshit from some of my classmates... and for the most part, it went in one year and out the other... suddenly it was oh-so-trivial. Hoy vey I went to high school with pathetic excuses for human beings... My friends were great as they always have been.
  
• Be warned...EMO-ISHNSS ALERT! Survivor's guilt? Unfortunately, I do still sometimes wonder that.
  
  
  
  I miss you, Al. Rest in peace. I will see you on some unknown date in the future.
  
  
  
  By the way... HUGE hugs and well-wishes to periantari, who also needs them

School starts in a week and a day. Gah, that bites X.x

Seriously, summer went by so quickly because of workiung at Splish Splash and on the history project that I feel like it's gone to waste. Yeah, I made a lot of new friends, but still.... IU just dunno how to explain how I feel.

Whitney's in my lunch period! I have somebody to sit with, w00t! I think Melanie's in my lunch period also, though I'm not sure.... *cries* I want Linda to be in my lunch period! It's not fair! We could try and sneak out for lunch, XD

Ehm... Saturday was very bizarre. I went into work at 11:30. I got off at 1. My coworker Erin came to my house with me, and she borrowed one of my swinsuits, and we went back to the park! That was awesome! Ad I *finally* went down cliff-diver. It hurt like hell climbing up 80 feet of stairs, but the ride was worth it. I went on that after Erin got picked up. Isn't *anyone* I know besides me brave enough to go down that thing? Actually, that was my first time on there, but only because I could never find omebody brave enough to go on the ride with me, and I didn't want to wait on an incredibly long line by myself. So, I climbed the stairs. There was absolutely no line, so I was climbing the whole flight, then another, then another, and another... That made my bad knee spaz out, but, yeah. And when I got to the top, the ride seemed *much* higher than it looked from the ground. I went down anyway, because I'm psycho like that, and I got this incredible adrenalin rush on it. That was amazing. If I could,m I'd go on there a thousand times.

On Sunday, Tela came over and we worked on the AP Euro project. Well, we didn't exactly *work* the whole time... half the time we were making dirty jokes on the material and talking about notes. Acording to Tela, Doc read the olive notew to her class, and she, of course, knew it was me and Jen. I know Tela and I are in period 6, and I hope Jen is too, because then we'd *really* be terrorizing Doc! XD

AARGH! *sigh* What a display of bullshit. That was a fucking PRANK that I ended *9 MONTHS AGO* What a rude, unfair, un-called for display of Tricia-bashing shit. I don't need this. I have to concentrate on AP history and think of what to say to my friend now I know she tried to kill herself *SIGH* I do not fucking need this.


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I just signed onto my sugaluvinchicCA screenname for the first time in over a week. Apparently, nobody online right now gives a flying fuck. Did anybody notice my disappearance? Did anybody care? I didn't get *any* IMs saying. "Tricia, you're alive!" or "Where have you been?" For that matter, I got zero IMs at all. Did *anyone* even notice I haven't been on? Or do you people just not care?

There's something major that has been grating on my nerves, but I doubt anyone cares about that either.